I Am My Greatest Acomplishment

So I am writing out some life goals and outlining my plans or hopes and wishes for the coming years. I have done this loosely in the past but combining this with some vision board work and all my new ideas and all, I really feel like I can make some strides. One of the things I want to do is own a home, it's not an "American Dream" thing, although it may be, it is really about me having space. I love space, I want to host dinners, I want a garden, and not just for growing things in, although that is a must. I want to breath there, meditate and have time to be. I am also looking at being published which is odd because there is nothing that I avoid more than books, but it is something that I have in me and I will not deny it.

My newest venture in my art practice is actually focused more on facilitation than it is on art. I have always been drawn to help others. I would actually help others before I take for myself, and that is something I have been examining for a long time and want to be both at peace with it while also open to it shifting as I grow. My making of art has never been real cut and dry, I do oddball things to put me in contact with others. My Portrait Project, or my ChicagoArts interview series, for both I was driven by my desire to connect, but for both I made no money, there is a combined 22 years of creative practice that I didn't charge anyone for. Now I am moving into a facilitation practice to help people self reflect, and I am charging for that and I get to connect and make art because the facilitation work starts with a portrait. I really have to open up to how that is going to work, how it will afford me a home and peace of mind. It is new and I have been put through the ringer enough over the past few years.

All of this is to say that as part of the writing work I ma doing is spelling out what my greatest accomplishments are. It is an odd question because I don't feel like anything I have done is done. I never got a degree from a school, which could be a focal point for many, TRANSfiguration barely ever got off the ground, my Portrait Project was open ended and I continue to explore that, so that is not an "accomplishment." I used to be represented by galleries, but that all changed and now I don't even make work that is intended for showing. The interview series or Our Cultural Center were things I did as well but they both kind of ended without being resolved in a way I was happy with. Everything, for me, has been a lesson, one learning experience after another. There is no accomplishment.

I could laundry list what I have done, because I have done a lot, and it has all been fun and my life is really one giant adventure. But that doesn't change the fact that this answer eludes me. I see that it is because I do not value what I have done, not because it has no value but because it is currently not a currency within my day to day. It all has made me who I am today though, It has made me the person that is loved by so many, and seen so clearly. I really do love who I am. Sure I have a long way to go, I still hold shame and desire, two things I want to get under control, but for the most part I am a great person. I don't know anyone who I would rather be. There are things I want to have more of in my life but I can get those things. The important part to all this is that I am happy with who I am and able to be who I am everywhere I am, this comes from inside myself.

I am privileged to be able to be me, and I recognize that. I do not know how I became to be me but here I am and I am extremely grateful for that. So I guess it turns out that my greatest accomplishment is me. Now, although that is great, try putting that on a resume lol.

My Morning Drink to Fight My MS

Every Morning I make a drink that will get my day started on the right nutritional foot. It is an awful concoction that really makes me feel like I have accomplished something.

There is a part of this diet that is focused on NOT eating, that is, fasting for 12-16 hours a day. That leaves me with 8-12 hours to eat. The important part about this is when I decide to start eating, sure I will have a coffee when I get up before 6am every morning but I won't have my gross little Viggie-Bevy until 9am the earliest. Doing that allows me to eat until 9pm the latest, which is right around my bedtime anyhow, strategically this is the best time for me to start my food intake stopwatch.

Here you can see me prepping my veggies for the Ninja experience.

Starting off there is so much of so many things I put in my morning drink that I need to blend it in parts, sometimes the greens go in first with the beet and other non greens to follow. Today I started by blending everything but the greens for my first round. That gave me a bright pink and very smooth and spicy drink. I put enough of this down to be able to add the greens, stems and all.

You may notice I said “Put enough of it down” well that is because, and I have gotten used to it and am no longer dreading it but, this is not what I would consider pleasant. Some days when I add more Coconut milk or have a particularly sweet beet it is a gift and I am grateful beyond comprehension. For the most part though the best thing I can say about the taste of this is that I can keep it down.

After the first blend has been completed the greens are added and blended. The bright pink deepens to a red/brown and all I have to do to get the nutrients of all those great things is to finish this drink.

Some of the best things about these drinks is that if you have lettuce or spinach starting to wilt, you’ll never know when they are in here. Stop tossing out those beets that are starting to get soft or the limp carrots or celery that noone is going to eat. This drink, again it’ll never be pleasant, can help you gain the ground on your Multiple Sclerosis for sure but I bet this would help all sorts of illnesses. I would take to drinking one of these if I had cancer,or if I even had an attention disorder or was on anxiety meds. The idea that diet is all we need to feel better is a cornerstone to my life, always has been and I am so grateful for finding Dr. Wahls protocol. I am no doctor but after drinking one of these every morning I feel great and have not had a flair up, or even much of a reminder that I have the MS for over 18 months.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I am on Avonex, I don’t know how much it is doing for me but I have not had a flair up in over a year but I have adopted this diet for longer than that. 




I have not included measurements because everyone is different (and I do not measure). I can not tell you what to add or how much you need of any of these things. Please note that when I began this diet these drinks were just too awful for me to face every day and I had to add a half a frozen banana until I was able to drink it without the sweetness. Of course Avocado is a fruit but in here, and for this diet, it should be seen as more of a fat than a fruit.

Here I am soaking almonds in water
I steamed Muscles in.

Another trick to these is to add nuts and/or seeds but, if you are following the Paleo Plus diet, these need to be soaked for at least 6 hours. So, if you are going to want to add them soak them in the water you will use the night before. Then, come morning they are all set to go to add this bit ofe protein to your drink. Adding soaked nuts also adds a smoothness and fat calories that are always welcomed.

I also, when it is available, substitute my water for homemade stock or bone broth. The other day I steamed some muscles for dinner, saved the water and used that instead of water, sure I then have a bit of a fishy drink but that muscle water has a lot more nutrients in it than whatever I am getting from the tap.

Enjoy your disgusting beverage and please let me know if you found a way to stomach it a bit better than I do. It may sound like I really hate this drink but all in all I do enjoy drinking it, if only for the fact that it has changed my taste buds and I see it as a challenge, The Army makes soldiers make their beds to accomplish something first thing in the day, I drink this.

Grocery List For My MS Diet

Last week we talked briefly about the grocery store perimeter, and how I am able to keep to my diet much easier by staying in that area. This week I want to go over my grocery list, how I travel though the store and how I am able to keep fresh food stocked and available to me consistently so I do not have to think about it at all.

First off I do think about it, but what I mean by "not think about it" is that I don't want to over-complicate my eating and the experiences around eating. Really, the Wahls Paleo Plus diet is one of the most simple diet to be on because, I think, most people have a range of things they buy at the grocery store already. Most homes I go into have oils, pasta and their corresponding jars of sauces, rices, fruit, breads, and snacks, both salty and sweet. For the most part none of those things are in my home (well I have pork cracklin's as a salty snack which is probably not something Terry Wahl would approve of but I am fine with it). 

Figure the thought that goes into choosing what fruit to buy, if you have enough rice of the kind you need for what you are making or all the bread choices you are given: the fresh bakery breads, dinner rolls, pop-n-fresh, sandwich breads. All of that is no longer a thought for me because I won't be getting any of it. and the nice thing about that is that I just don't have to think about it. All of those choices and varieties have been removed. Of course I could complicate my life and diet by flirting with gluten-free options but I don't like to complicate things so I keep it simple. Now that I have made my choice to be on this diet my produce department visits simple, "Do I have broccoli?" if "No" then I buy it, if "Yes" I still might buy it but I don't have to. I will forever be eating broccoli so it will not go to waste.

My diet, the Wahls Paleo Plus, is all about keeping the nutrient density level of your food up as high as possible. She talks about it as a way to keep the cells of your body balanced and healthy.The theory, as I understand it, is that by eating rices or bread we are getting a lot general calories filling us up for the nutrient trade off. While eating fat, like cooking cauliflower in schmaltz, gives me all sorts of nutrients from the cauliflower while also giving you a stable calorie source in the schmaltz. This is a simple look at one of the many theories held within this diet.

Any basic search of the Whals diet will give you the basics, that you are to eat 2-3 cups of Greens, foods rich in sulpher, and color foods. However the diet structure is not super clear when we focus solely Paleo Plus diet because we lack all the fruit and squash and so many other things that have color or calories. All of my MS posts will be tackling this diet and looking how to actually stay on the diet, for real.

Here is the standard grocery list I keep in my phone for Fats andthe produce department. I use it to ensure I can properly eat all the time, and that I have all the nutrients I need to keep up with my day.  

Produce Department

• Avocado (smoothies/salads)
• Beets (smoothies)
• Bell Peppers [any/all colors] (smoothies/salads)
• Broccoli (cooking)
• Cabbage (cooking/fermenting)
• Carrots (salads)
• Cauliflower (cooking/fermenting)
• Daicon Radish (smoothies)
• Garlic (cooking/smoothies)
• Ginger (smoothies/tea)
• Hearty Greens (cooking/smoothies/salads)
• Mushrooms (smoothies/cooking/salads)
• Olives
• Radish (salads)

Fats

• Coconut Cream/Milk (smoothies/coffee additive)
• Coconut Oil (cooking/coffee additive/spoonfuls of delicious calories)
• Lard (cooking)

Any grocery list app would work as long as you can turn on and off the items, I use the Pete’s Fresh Market app to turn on and off these items when I have, or run out of them.

When it comes to meats, in a week I have at least one fish meal and two organ meals, Chicken livers and gizzards are my favorite but I have to venture away from that on occasion and do get kidney, sweetbreads, and other livers as well . It is a lot of work but I would suggest a beef tongue to anyone, it is one of the most delectable meats I have ever eaten.

Things That Help Me Succeed on My MS Diet: Wahls Paleo Plus

I hear people talk about changing one's diet as "a complete lifestyle change" and that is no different here. When I got home from hospital and knew I was going to be changing my diet for good I got rid of just about all my kitchen gadgets, my rice cooker, ice cream maker,toaster oven, baking stones, baking pans, flour and powdered mixes. I threw away any food that was in a box, can or came directly associated with a logo. I had a new way forward and it was taking shape. Now, it should be said, this new path was not far off from the trajectory I was already headed, but I definitely got there quicker than I had anticipated. It was probably easy for me to make the switch so rapidly because I had already envisioned this diet, in some abstract way, as ideal. Life is funny, how it prepares us.

I had to get pure and simple. I was about to eat as naturally as I could, which meant if it was wrapped up in plastic, cardboard or had to go through any printing process to get to me it was probably too much processing and I could go without. Pure meant to get as close to the source as possible. I was already a fan of only eating meats that had bone in it, that way I wouldn't be fooled by meat glue, if you do not know what meat glue is, it is worth a google. When it came to vegetables I was still buying bags and wrapped things which, although it seemed okay at first, I felt much more confident in the foods that I put in bags myself. This confidence goes a long way in being able to absorb nutrients and gain all the benefits of the foods we eat. The mind is really where digestion starts. 

I look at the grocery store, and how t is set up, I ask myself where can I find food that is worth eating no matter where you go the answer is the same, it is around the perimeter. That is where the Butcher and Produce departments are as well as the Bakery and Deli neither of which I visit any longer but you can remain relatively healthy by restricting 90% of your food shopping to these departments. The minute you enter an aisle you are going to be inundated with logos, ads and High Fructose Corn Syrup. I get my spices, coffee and tea from the isles but beyond that, when it comes to food, I don't step foot in them. Because of that my home is filled with pure food, I have to shop 3 times a week to keep it that way but it is a pretty simple trade off for me at this point. 

Now you specialty diet folks, I mean all of you that are gluten free, vegetarian or vegan and I am sure there are many many others, you may not be able to use the perimeter rule. That is fine, there is no one answer for everyone, your health and mine, although they may be equal, will not be arrived at in the same way. 

I have a regular list of great foods that I keep stocked in my home, that is the first and best thing to help me succeed at my diet. Beyond that there are a number of other things that, without, I would probably fail miserably.

They are...

1. A Juicer Blender (like the Ninja or VitaMix) - For the amount of raw food I choose to eat, my ninja is something I use every day for a morning drink. I try not to call it a smoothie because there are a lot of preconceived ideas to what a smoothie is and this beverage is not covered by any of them. Here are some of the things that you would find in my morning drink.

1. Beets
2. Daikon Radish
3. Avocado
4. Mushrooms
5. Hearty Greens
6. Ginger
7. Coconut Milk/Cream (can)
8. Water
9. Horseradish*
10. Diatomaceous Earth*

* = not added everyday

I have had a lot of people ask me about the Diatomaceous Earth and why I use it. First thing you should know is that it is a food grade DE. I use it because my diet is so fat laden and it is knowns to help control cholesterol. and whether it does or not it absolutely helps me calm down about cholesterol a bit. Here is the study I found that helped me choose to add this to my diet, I do not believe it is something Terry talks about although I could be mistaken.

2. 8 Cup Food Processor - This is something I use to slice large amounts of raw vegetables.When I got home from hospital I could not use my left hand and so cutting things was very difficult, I decided that owning a food processor was a solution to that. The main thing I use it for today, because I have use of my left side again, is shredding cabbage for Lacto-Fermented Sauerkraut, which is something I eat very regularly.
3. An Iron Skillet - Once properly seasoned, it gives me a non-stick I can use on the stovetop or in the oven and adds much needed iron into my diet This is my go to pan, I cook everything in it, if you might look to me to help derive some recipes from this is a must have. In a few weeks I will post instructions on how to properly season a skillet.
4. A Cat - This diet is very good for cats (at least the meat and fat parts) so I got one. Lü and I eat, for the most part, the same things, I take portions of all the food I prepare separate it out and freeze it. Later, I use my juicer blender to make her food, to which I add Taurine and some of that Diatomaceous Earth. She is on a strict raw diet that includes organs as well as greens.
5. NO CHEATS IN THE HOUSE - Now I am a firm believer in cheating on this diet, within reason. Meaning once every week or 10 days to have a sweet or something to take the edge off but if you buy salted chocolate covered caramels well, all bets are off, trust me. This kind of means living alone is probably best for success. I am lucky enough to not have anyone clambering to live with me that I get to enjoy living with nothing but meats, fats and some viggies in my house. Yippee!

Now that you know some tips on how to get your new diet under way lets get into the nitty gritty of what we need in the fridge. Next Week - Grocery Shopping

My Diet for My Multiple Sclerosis

So, over a year ago I got diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I have always been a proponent of the idea that diet is the key to health, both metal and physical. After being diagnosed I didn't find in myself a whole lot of drive to learn about the disease, the little that I did find out was that it effected everyone differently. That fact informed me that I was more in control of the disease than the disease was in control of me. I figured a healthy mind and a healthy body was going to be my way forward.

After my second flair up, where I lost most of the motor function on my left side I decide to not take the stress management and diet portions of my life lightly. I needed resolve and loosing the ability to walk and tie my own shoes was enough to find that resolve. I was extremely lucky that Dr. Terry Wahls had just published The Wahls Protocol. This book eventually became my go to for my new life's diet regimen.

The Wahls Protocol

It took me weeks to actually read this because Dr. Wahls is kind of a smug bitch. This is really unfortunate because I just couldn't get past that for a few weeks but it was so important for me to get over it. Mind you, my perception of Dr. Wahls is totally because I have an extreme distaste for over-educated white folks, and so she might not be half as smug as I perceive her to be.

I have read the book and I get the diet, I cheat on the diet because I am alive in the world, but I have a balance that I am comfortable with. Not that I want to over simplify things because this diet is very complex but this diet requires that you cut out anything that your body will easily make into sugar. That is an idea I had for myself a decade ago. So when it was spelled out for me here I was ecstatic. The nutrient density of this diet is unmatched, it has helped my energy levels, my ability to calm down and sort data, learn new things and stay healthy.

I will be adding information about my diet, how I stay on it and my understanding of why the diet is how it is. I will also talk about cheating on this diet, mind you I am not a doctor but I feel feeling good and being healthy go hand in hand and if you can't cheat then you might not feel too good all the time, and we sure can do that.